This first one is about Sandie. Ultimately, at this point, everything has to do with her, the things she taught me and how to maintain her guidance. It hit me hard today, a little over five years since she died, that feeling of complete and utter loss. It's so crazy how much it still hurts, and like I told my dad just now, it doesn't hurt any less when it hurts, it just hurts less often. Or I've learned to keep it at bay, at least.
Sandie, my mom, was this amazing spirit. She had a gift for sharing herself and helping everybody she loved be their best. She was bravely honest, she was brave in lots of ways. As I sat down to shuffle through pictures and try my hardest to make this little website represent what I love to do I felt excited. And it's in these times, lately, that I get sad because she isn't here to celebrate with me, to encourage me, or to gently lead me in the right direction. That's the problem a lot without her physically around. It is hard to make a decision when your guide is gone.
So, here I am, and here is the beginning of my website. I like to make pretty things with flowers. I'll write more about that soon.